WE'RE JUST leaving the Eton B&B in Brisbane to make our way (via some as yet to be determined stop en-route) to the airport to fly down to Sydney, in order to connect with our flight to Adelaide later this afternoon.
THE ZOO was OK -- certainly not the best one I've ever been to, but their conservation work is to be applauded, so they get extra marks for that.
IT'S bloody hot here at the moment (33c) and Hoopy tells us that it's 38 in Adelaide. Phew! Still, better than the rain and floods we're missing back in Devon.
CHINATOWN last night for food, which was nice. Though perhaps not quite as nice as the three pints of Guinness I necked beforehand in the Elephant & Wheelbarrow pub. Charlie even managed to get $5 from the guy who was running a quiz there.
SPEAKING of Chaz, he's now started calling Hoopy "Uncle Hoopy". How cute.
Tuesday, 28 November 2006
Monday, 27 November 2006
Balmy
IT'S hot and humid in Brisbane today. We've been waiting on a (apparently massive) thunderstorm, but as yet it's not arrived.
AS everyone (who cares) will know by now, England lost the first Test this morning - Hoopy & Mike ventured down to the ground in the hope of a seeing a staunch English defence, but it didn't happen.
WHILST they were off getting depressed at the Gabba, myself, Ali & Charlie 'did' downtown Brisbane, taking in a trip up the river on the CityCat catamarans, wandering around Queen Street mall spending entirely too much money and generally getting a feel for the place. It's certainly a lot smaller and less daunting once you've spent a few hours in the centre -- it's a city that makes little sense from behind the wheel of a car ("the WRETCHED one way system" as Hoopy calls it), but on foot all becomes clear and it's actually really easy to get around.
WE HAD first hand experience of the Barmy Army at the Gabba on Sunday - they chose to congregate right behind us on the ground level of the stadium and didn't shut up for hours! Mike & I left early 'cos we were getting headaches - even Hoopy [who's used to raucous mobs screaming from the terraces at Anfield ;-)] went and sat upstairs after we left. It was all pretty good natured mind you - even the police were taking it in turns to have pictures taken with the lads and also doing 'behind camera' work on request. Obviously a nicer bunch than the muppets of the first couple of days.
ONCE I get the right combination of computer, card reader and decent Internet connection (I've managed any two out of three everywhere so far), I'm hoping to throw some pictures up, if only to prove, as Chandler has suggested, that we're not simply having time off in Bognor Regis and making all this crap up from the telly.
AFTER the cricket finished today and we'd met back up, Hoopy & I went off to the museums. Brisbane museum is rubbish, but the museum of Queensland over the river was excellent.
I"VE been up a couple of late nights trying desperately to sort out a problem with a recalcitrant .co.uk domain that expired without warning last Friday. It's registered through uk2.net who, until now, have always done themselves proud on product, price and performance. However, that view is changing by the hour -- I've now been waiting THREE DAYS for them to get back to me. As is the way these days, they don't pubish any form of phone number, so you're simply stuck waiting for someone to respond to faults on their suport site or emails. Unfortunately, the domain in question is used by about 200 people for email services, so it's a big issue. Once the domain is reactivated, it'll take me 20 seconds (with one hand tied behind my back) to change the MX record and get things working again, but until they pull their finger out of their arse I'm stuffed. Grrr. So much for not working this holiday. Note to self - when you get home, move any and all domains away from UK2 to someone who actually ANSWERS CRITICAL FAULTS when you raise them. Meantime, if anyone can get me a telephone number, I'll buy several beers...
AUSTRALIA ZOO beckons tomorrow, so we may be one down come Wednesday if Chaz reclaims his natural place in the Monkey enclosure.
NOW it's beer o'clock. So long.
AS everyone (who cares) will know by now, England lost the first Test this morning - Hoopy & Mike ventured down to the ground in the hope of a seeing a staunch English defence, but it didn't happen.
WHILST they were off getting depressed at the Gabba, myself, Ali & Charlie 'did' downtown Brisbane, taking in a trip up the river on the CityCat catamarans, wandering around Queen Street mall spending entirely too much money and generally getting a feel for the place. It's certainly a lot smaller and less daunting once you've spent a few hours in the centre -- it's a city that makes little sense from behind the wheel of a car ("the WRETCHED one way system" as Hoopy calls it), but on foot all becomes clear and it's actually really easy to get around.
WE HAD first hand experience of the Barmy Army at the Gabba on Sunday - they chose to congregate right behind us on the ground level of the stadium and didn't shut up for hours! Mike & I left early 'cos we were getting headaches - even Hoopy [who's used to raucous mobs screaming from the terraces at Anfield ;-)] went and sat upstairs after we left. It was all pretty good natured mind you - even the police were taking it in turns to have pictures taken with the lads and also doing 'behind camera' work on request. Obviously a nicer bunch than the muppets of the first couple of days.
ONCE I get the right combination of computer, card reader and decent Internet connection (I've managed any two out of three everywhere so far), I'm hoping to throw some pictures up, if only to prove, as Chandler has suggested, that we're not simply having time off in Bognor Regis and making all this crap up from the telly.
AFTER the cricket finished today and we'd met back up, Hoopy & I went off to the museums. Brisbane museum is rubbish, but the museum of Queensland over the river was excellent.
I"VE been up a couple of late nights trying desperately to sort out a problem with a recalcitrant .co.uk domain that expired without warning last Friday. It's registered through uk2.net who, until now, have always done themselves proud on product, price and performance. However, that view is changing by the hour -- I've now been waiting THREE DAYS for them to get back to me. As is the way these days, they don't pubish any form of phone number, so you're simply stuck waiting for someone to respond to faults on their suport site or emails. Unfortunately, the domain in question is used by about 200 people for email services, so it's a big issue. Once the domain is reactivated, it'll take me 20 seconds (with one hand tied behind my back) to change the MX record and get things working again, but until they pull their finger out of their arse I'm stuffed. Grrr. So much for not working this holiday. Note to self - when you get home, move any and all domains away from UK2 to someone who actually ANSWERS CRITICAL FAULTS when you raise them. Meantime, if anyone can get me a telephone number, I'll buy several beers...
AUSTRALIA ZOO beckons tomorrow, so we may be one down come Wednesday if Chaz reclaims his natural place in the Monkey enclosure.
NOW it's beer o'clock. So long.
Saturday, 25 November 2006
Not welcome here...
I've learnt a few things since we've been here.
Firstly, I now know that what we call flip-flops are called thongs. This led to some initial amusement, until we kept being refused entry to night spots due to Ali's underwear. Now we know better, she's gone out and spent millions of pounds on shoes, quite unselfishly, just so we have a choice of eating establishments in the evening. Moreover, it would seem that the Australian for camper van is 'Bus'. Which wouldn't be half as confusing if the word for 'Bus' wasn't 'Bus' as well.
And of course, as we learned yesterday, the Australian for policeman is 'screaming fat tosser in uniform'.
A welcome day away from the humiliation (read 'cricket') today for myself, Ali & the boys. We headed North to Noosa, about 140kms from Brisbane. Fantastic beach, women and weather. What more could a man want?
We're in the middle of the first proper drinking session we've had since arrival down under, so I make no apologies for the brevity of this post nor for any speling mistooks contained herein.
We move hotel tomorrow for 3 days, then it's off to Adelaide. We may or may not have Internet access for a few days, so some of you back in the UK may be receiving postcards henceforth...
Firstly, I now know that what we call flip-flops are called thongs. This led to some initial amusement, until we kept being refused entry to night spots due to Ali's underwear. Now we know better, she's gone out and spent millions of pounds on shoes, quite unselfishly, just so we have a choice of eating establishments in the evening. Moreover, it would seem that the Australian for camper van is 'Bus'. Which wouldn't be half as confusing if the word for 'Bus' wasn't 'Bus' as well.
And of course, as we learned yesterday, the Australian for policeman is 'screaming fat tosser in uniform'.
A welcome day away from the humiliation (read 'cricket') today for myself, Ali & the boys. We headed North to Noosa, about 140kms from Brisbane. Fantastic beach, women and weather. What more could a man want?
We're in the middle of the first proper drinking session we've had since arrival down under, so I make no apologies for the brevity of this post nor for any speling mistooks contained herein.
We move hotel tomorrow for 3 days, then it's off to Adelaide. We may or may not have Internet access for a few days, so some of you back in the UK may be receiving postcards henceforth...
Friday, 24 November 2006
Same old story
So we're just back from day two of the first test and I'm delighted to report that it's business as usual, with the Aussies declaring on 602-9 and England finishing the day three down for a mega-impressive 53 runs on the board. It's all bloody Andrew Strauss's fault - WHEN is the boy going to learn the difference between a one-day run chase and a FUC&ING FIVE DAY TEST MATCH? Grrr...
On a lighter note, we have been part of two new attendance records for cricket at the Gabba - 39,288 yesterday and 39,315 today. One thing is for certain though - they'll be at least one down tomorrow as I really don't see the point in going. Only two things can happen now - we can bat all of tomorrow (ha!) in which case the likly result is a draw, or the Aussies are going to bowl us out, make us follow on (we need to score 403 to avoid that particular indignity) and thence win the game. So I think I'll use the day to explore central Brisbane - there's soooo much to do here I really think we should have come away for 2 years and not 2 months.
Oh yes, can someone please tell the Gabba security staff / local Police that they are all screaming fuckwits.
Today, upon entering the ground a burly security guard removed Mike's small Ashes series commerative bat from his hot and sweaty stating that "items that could be used as weapons are not allowed in the ground." An understandable stance, or at least it would be had we not BOUGHT THE DAMN THING INSIDE THE GROUND YESTERDAY. Sigh. I pointed this out to stroppy bollocks, who eventually agreed to let Mike have it back and take it in, providing I hid it in my newspaper. So toy cricket bats are no good, but concealed weapons are OK!
Yesterday, several good folk were ejected from the ground for having the temerity to attempt to start a Mexican wave. I did relish in pointing out to the ex-Colonials sitting behind me, who'd be going on all day about how they were the new frontier, the land of choice and freedom, that in ENGLAND we are actually ALLOWED to make our own entertainment at sporting venues. "Zer shall be no fun at ze Gabba today inmates." Indeed.
A great article in the local paper this morning about an enterprising local chap (Tony Bridge, to name and shame), who rents out his yard for car parking when there's events on at the Gabba. When asked why he put the price up from $10 to $15, the reply came "I have to fund my dog's heartworm medication somehow."
I'm starting to worry about these Australians.
On a lighter note, we have been part of two new attendance records for cricket at the Gabba - 39,288 yesterday and 39,315 today. One thing is for certain though - they'll be at least one down tomorrow as I really don't see the point in going. Only two things can happen now - we can bat all of tomorrow (ha!) in which case the likly result is a draw, or the Aussies are going to bowl us out, make us follow on (we need to score 403 to avoid that particular indignity) and thence win the game. So I think I'll use the day to explore central Brisbane - there's soooo much to do here I really think we should have come away for 2 years and not 2 months.
Oh yes, can someone please tell the Gabba security staff / local Police that they are all screaming fuckwits.
Today, upon entering the ground a burly security guard removed Mike's small Ashes series commerative bat from his hot and sweaty stating that "items that could be used as weapons are not allowed in the ground." An understandable stance, or at least it would be had we not BOUGHT THE DAMN THING INSIDE THE GROUND YESTERDAY. Sigh. I pointed this out to stroppy bollocks, who eventually agreed to let Mike have it back and take it in, providing I hid it in my newspaper. So toy cricket bats are no good, but concealed weapons are OK!
Yesterday, several good folk were ejected from the ground for having the temerity to attempt to start a Mexican wave. I did relish in pointing out to the ex-Colonials sitting behind me, who'd be going on all day about how they were the new frontier, the land of choice and freedom, that in ENGLAND we are actually ALLOWED to make our own entertainment at sporting venues. "Zer shall be no fun at ze Gabba today inmates." Indeed.
A great article in the local paper this morning about an enterprising local chap (Tony Bridge, to name and shame), who rents out his yard for car parking when there's events on at the Gabba. When asked why he put the price up from $10 to $15, the reply came "I have to fund my dog's heartworm medication somehow."
I'm starting to worry about these Australians.
Wednesday, 22 November 2006
Today's the day..
FIRST day, first test. In Australia. What fun!
UP early this morning (05:00), leaving the Sea World resort and heading North into the city centre. We're now based at Terraces on Wickham for the next 3 days, which, it seems, happens to be the "official" base of the travelling Barmy Army, so I expect we're in for some fun apres-cricket activity.
The journey into the city only took 1.5 hours door-to-door - we've arrived so early that we've still another hour to wait for the courtesy buses to the Gabba to start running.
Fun day yesterday at Warner Brothers studios, Ali & Hoopy notched up another two coaster rides, with Mike & Chaz coming in with 1 a piece. Chicken shit here took the photographs.
Hoopy seems back to normal now, partaking of a few beers last night rather than poncy cocktails. And he's still not had a cigarette since Singapore...
C'Mon England!!!
UP early this morning (05:00), leaving the Sea World resort and heading North into the city centre. We're now based at Terraces on Wickham for the next 3 days, which, it seems, happens to be the "official" base of the travelling Barmy Army, so I expect we're in for some fun apres-cricket activity.
The journey into the city only took 1.5 hours door-to-door - we've arrived so early that we've still another hour to wait for the courtesy buses to the Gabba to start running.
Fun day yesterday at Warner Brothers studios, Ali & Hoopy notched up another two coaster rides, with Mike & Chaz coming in with 1 a piece. Chicken shit here took the photographs.
Hoopy seems back to normal now, partaking of a few beers last night rather than poncy cocktails. And he's still not had a cigarette since Singapore...
C'Mon England!!!
Tuesday, 21 November 2006
66.6% to go...
MY chances of leaving here a rich man diminished somewhat yesterday as Ali (with Hoopy) went on the roller coaster twice. Oh well, there's still her bungee jump and free fall to go...
BUSY day at Seaworld yesterday, with, I'm pleased to say, no recurrence of the vertigo I seemed to be suffering from at the Rugby the other night. I was feeling quite unwell sat up the top of Suncorp stadium.
MANAGED to dump the kids into a club for a few hours last night and ventured into Southport with Ali & Hoopy for dinner and drinkies, letting Ali lose her virginity on the driving front on the way back.
THERE'S definitely something in the water here; we've all been up long before 08:00 every day (I was out at 05:35 this morning driving around!) and Hoopy, gasp, was seen last night in the bar drinking Pina Colada's and Gin & Tonic. What ever is the world coming to...?
TWO days to go until the first test and the Ashes is (are?) everywhere here. Apparantly there's another 9,998 Brits coming as well. Hope they leave some beer for us.
BUSY day at Seaworld yesterday, with, I'm pleased to say, no recurrence of the vertigo I seemed to be suffering from at the Rugby the other night. I was feeling quite unwell sat up the top of Suncorp stadium.
MANAGED to dump the kids into a club for a few hours last night and ventured into Southport with Ali & Hoopy for dinner and drinkies, letting Ali lose her virginity on the driving front on the way back.
THERE'S definitely something in the water here; we've all been up long before 08:00 every day (I was out at 05:35 this morning driving around!) and Hoopy, gasp, was seen last night in the bar drinking Pina Colada's and Gin & Tonic. What ever is the world coming to...?
TWO days to go until the first test and the Ashes is (are?) everywhere here. Apparantly there's another 9,998 Brits coming as well. Hope they leave some beer for us.
Saturday, 18 November 2006
Stuffed...
... In more ways than one. Mike & I have just had breakfast (Ali's awake but not ready, Chaz will sleep for another hour or more I suspect and we probably won't see Hoopy for another 3 days), having got back at 00:10 after the Rugby. A resounding 33-10 win for the Kangaroos. Let's hope that the British defeat wasn't a sign of things to come in the cricket.
It's 08:35, hot and sunny. I'm sure everyone back home is really pleased for us... ;-)
It's 08:35, hot and sunny. I'm sure everyone back home is really pleased for us... ;-)
Down Under
We're here. Boy that's one hell of a flight. Both legs were fairly uneventful (which, I've decided, is probably the best way for one's time in a metal tube doing 550+ mph at 35,000 feet to be).
Hoopy ended up covered in curry at some point during the Heathrow-Singapore set, apparently as a result of an over-anxious steward. Charlie caused a bomb scare at Singapore airport by leaving his rucksack on a bench, which he didn't remember about until 20 minutes later. By that time, of course, the spooks were out in force and poor Ali ended up being led away by four coppers (with big guns, apparently) for questioning. I, being me, was oblivious to all this excitement having taken up residence in the (i must say extremely clean) personal hygiene facility. Anyhow, they let (kicked) us out of Singapore in the end and we got into Brisbane 6:35am Aussie time this morning. Qantas are a good airline - I just wish I was either a foot shorter or much richer. At 6'6" and 230lb, I just don't do a cattle class seat very well...
With Michael moaning about impending death through lack of nourishment the moment we cleared customs (despite having 86 breakfasts/dinners/snacks on the plane (all at the wrong times - you have no idea how crossing the International Date Line *and* seven time zones really confuses the hell out of the concept of Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner)), we picked up the rental car and headed for the nearest McDonalds.
At which point Hoopy, bless him, picks up a newspaper (I didn't even know he could read...), discovers that not only is the Great Britain/Australia Rugby League game on tonight but in fact is being played at the Suncorp Stadium right here in Brisbane. So within 5 minutes of arriving at the resort, the receptionist has called the stadium, booked us tickets and it seems therefore that we're going. Should make about 50 hours straight without sleep by the time we get back to the resort later...
Hoopy ended up covered in curry at some point during the Heathrow-Singapore set, apparently as a result of an over-anxious steward. Charlie caused a bomb scare at Singapore airport by leaving his rucksack on a bench, which he didn't remember about until 20 minutes later. By that time, of course, the spooks were out in force and poor Ali ended up being led away by four coppers (with big guns, apparently) for questioning. I, being me, was oblivious to all this excitement having taken up residence in the (i must say extremely clean) personal hygiene facility. Anyhow, they let (kicked) us out of Singapore in the end and we got into Brisbane 6:35am Aussie time this morning. Qantas are a good airline - I just wish I was either a foot shorter or much richer. At 6'6" and 230lb, I just don't do a cattle class seat very well...
With Michael moaning about impending death through lack of nourishment the moment we cleared customs (despite having 86 breakfasts/dinners/snacks on the plane (all at the wrong times - you have no idea how crossing the International Date Line *and* seven time zones really confuses the hell out of the concept of Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner)), we picked up the rental car and headed for the nearest McDonalds.
At which point Hoopy, bless him, picks up a newspaper (I didn't even know he could read...), discovers that not only is the Great Britain/Australia Rugby League game on tonight but in fact is being played at the Suncorp Stadium right here in Brisbane. So within 5 minutes of arriving at the resort, the receptionist has called the stadium, booked us tickets and it seems therefore that we're going. Should make about 50 hours straight without sleep by the time we get back to the resort later...
Thursday, 16 November 2006
Scary Moments
Is it just me, or am I right to be paranoid when you're in the airside departure lounge at the world's busiest airport when all of a sudden an alarm starts going off and an arabic-speaking woman starts blurbing something over the tannoy at warp speed?
Anyway, that's where we are. We've just had the pre-boarding call for our flights (for those with young childen, disabilities or the 356 terminally stupid people who pretend to have one or other of these ailments to jump the queue), so I suspect we'll be getting on in about 15 minutes.
Chandler - if you're reading this - you don't need to send the same text message to Hoopy & I at the same time - in case you've not quite recovered from Saturday yet, may I remind you that we are, in fact, *together*! ;-)
The big silver bird awaits to head south...
Anyway, that's where we are. We've just had the pre-boarding call for our flights (for those with young childen, disabilities or the 356 terminally stupid people who pretend to have one or other of these ailments to jump the queue), so I suspect we'll be getting on in about 15 minutes.
Chandler - if you're reading this - you don't need to send the same text message to Hoopy & I at the same time - in case you've not quite recovered from Saturday yet, may I remind you that we are, in fact, *together*! ;-)
The big silver bird awaits to head south...
A Transvestite Dog called Steven
230 MILES down and about 11,000 to go. We've made it as far as sister-in-law Carol in London, about 15 minutes from Heathrow, having met my mother for lunch (Nandos... yum, though I "forgot" (ha!) to buy Hoopy any food so he was about 10 minutes behind the rest of us in eating) en route.
So just time for a cup of tea (and perhaps a sharpener or two at The Sawyers Arms whilst Ali & Carol chat some more) before going 300 yards down the road to sister-in-law Sheila who's doing the Airport run and babysitting the car for us.
Hoopy's had 2 cigarettes so far but still insists that the last in the departure lounge later will be the last ever. We'll see.
Next stop Singapore, where we're due to arrive in about 16 hours' time.
Sorry 'bout the title today - as it happens, we don't have a dog, let alone one with a penchant for ladies clothing and fake breasts - but the name came to me in the middle of the night when I was having a dream about recording an album and decided upon that as a title. I think Hoopy makes a valid point here - he's just said "you're mad". I guess.
So just time for a cup of tea (and perhaps a sharpener or two at The Sawyers Arms whilst Ali & Carol chat some more) before going 300 yards down the road to sister-in-law Sheila who's doing the Airport run and babysitting the car for us.
Hoopy's had 2 cigarettes so far but still insists that the last in the departure lounge later will be the last ever. We'll see.
Next stop Singapore, where we're due to arrive in about 16 hours' time.
Sorry 'bout the title today - as it happens, we don't have a dog, let alone one with a penchant for ladies clothing and fake breasts - but the name came to me in the middle of the night when I was having a dream about recording an album and decided upon that as a title. I think Hoopy makes a valid point here - he's just said "you're mad". I guess.
Wednesday, 15 November 2006
It Begins...
SO, here we are then. Nearly 4 years (Thursday 7th January 2003, to be exact) after I finished my last stint of creating publicly accessible drivel, it's time to do a little more.
HOWEVER, I'm not for one minute intending this to be a permanent return, and it's highly unlikely that anything you'll read here will be of any interest whatsoever, especially if you've come here thinking you'll find a techie based diatribe like wot I wrote before [or other stuff along the lines of what the remaining Daynotes (http://www.daynotes.com/) boys still do]. I'm doing it for the purely selfish reason of having somewhere to record my 2-month-and-one-day (don't forget the one day...) trip to Australia and Hong Kong, which starts, er, tomorrow. Nothing like preparation and planning here, you understand.
FIVE of us (myself, 'er indoors Ali, #1 Son Mike, #2 Chaz and our doubtless soon to be ex-friend Alan "Hoopy" Hooper) fly out at 22:00 tomorrow on Qantas QF10 London-Brisbane, via Singapore to commence a 62 day barrage of alcohol abuse, street fights with Australian cricket fans (a contradiction in terms, surely?) and cramming in as much sightseeing (and in Hoopy's case at least, shagging) as possible.
ACTUALLY, we're toddling off very innocently to watch the Ashes (Americans and other non-colonials can look it up here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes) and do a few other things besides - two of which I'm particularly looking forward to as either could leave me a very rich man indeed - Ali intends to go on a massive roller coaster and do a parachute jump. Where's that insurance policy...?
As I'll probably forget to put anything so remotely useful as place names in posts, we'll be going to these places:
Nov 18th - 28th : Brisbane, Queensland
Nov 29th - Dec 11th : Adelaide, South Australia
Dec 12th - 19th : Perth, Western Australia
Dec 20th - 29th : Melbourne, Victoria
Dec 30th - Jan 11th : Sydney, New South Wales (hawk... spit...)
Jan 12th - 16th : Hong Kong Island, Kong Kong
Jan 17th - Back in Blighty. Sigh.
ANYONE wishing to meet up for beer (or ladies/officers of the constabulary requiring Hoopy's cellphone number) is more than welcome to drop their contact details into a comments, which may or may not illicit a response...
WHY a blog and not simply photographs and memories like normal people, you ask? Well, for a start my memory doesn't work very well any more and many of the photographs I intend taking will, I hope, cause extreme embarrassment to the human subjects (Hoopy) concerned and should therefore be shared with as wider audience as possible, especially those he has previously regarded as friends back home in UKLand. Additionally, of course, it's a really cheap and lazy alternative to personal emails and postcards.
OH YES, about the name. Last Saturday, a day which will forever remain in the memories of those in attendance or unlucky enough to have overheard the antics, 12 of us went out for the quintessential pre-trip piss-up, of which the magnificent 7 ended up in Chandler's hot tub [bollock naked, obviously], eventually managing to stagger home (in various articles of undone/borrowed/wet/other clothing) sometime after 05:30; and it had been his idea during a conversation earlier in the night to keep a blog on the trip. So here it is.
MY NAME is Mat Lemmings, NOT Ian Chandler.
AND that's all for now.
HOWEVER, I'm not for one minute intending this to be a permanent return, and it's highly unlikely that anything you'll read here will be of any interest whatsoever, especially if you've come here thinking you'll find a techie based diatribe like wot I wrote before [or other stuff along the lines of what the remaining Daynotes (http://www.daynotes.com/) boys still do]. I'm doing it for the purely selfish reason of having somewhere to record my 2-month-and-one-day (don't forget the one day...) trip to Australia and Hong Kong, which starts, er, tomorrow. Nothing like preparation and planning here, you understand.
FIVE of us (myself, 'er indoors Ali, #1 Son Mike, #2 Chaz and our doubtless soon to be ex-friend Alan "Hoopy" Hooper) fly out at 22:00 tomorrow on Qantas QF10 London-Brisbane, via Singapore to commence a 62 day barrage of alcohol abuse, street fights with Australian cricket fans (a contradiction in terms, surely?) and cramming in as much sightseeing (and in Hoopy's case at least, shagging) as possible.
ACTUALLY, we're toddling off very innocently to watch the Ashes (Americans and other non-colonials can look it up here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes) and do a few other things besides - two of which I'm particularly looking forward to as either could leave me a very rich man indeed - Ali intends to go on a massive roller coaster and do a parachute jump. Where's that insurance policy...?
As I'll probably forget to put anything so remotely useful as place names in posts, we'll be going to these places:
Nov 18th - 28th : Brisbane, Queensland
Nov 29th - Dec 11th : Adelaide, South Australia
Dec 12th - 19th : Perth, Western Australia
Dec 20th - 29th : Melbourne, Victoria
Dec 30th - Jan 11th : Sydney, New South Wales (hawk... spit...)
Jan 12th - 16th : Hong Kong Island, Kong Kong
Jan 17th - Back in Blighty. Sigh.
ANYONE wishing to meet up for beer (or ladies/officers of the constabulary requiring Hoopy's cellphone number) is more than welcome to drop their contact details into a comments, which may or may not illicit a response...
WHY a blog and not simply photographs and memories like normal people, you ask? Well, for a start my memory doesn't work very well any more and many of the photographs I intend taking will, I hope, cause extreme embarrassment to the human subjects (Hoopy) concerned and should therefore be shared with as wider audience as possible, especially those he has previously regarded as friends back home in UKLand. Additionally, of course, it's a really cheap and lazy alternative to personal emails and postcards.
OH YES, about the name. Last Saturday, a day which will forever remain in the memories of those in attendance or unlucky enough to have overheard the antics, 12 of us went out for the quintessential pre-trip piss-up, of which the magnificent 7 ended up in Chandler's hot tub [bollock naked, obviously], eventually managing to stagger home (in various articles of undone/borrowed/wet/other clothing) sometime after 05:30; and it had been his idea during a conversation earlier in the night to keep a blog on the trip. So here it is.
MY NAME is Mat Lemmings, NOT Ian Chandler.
AND that's all for now.
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